Ok, it’s quite clear I love makeup and all that it entails, from the subtly gorgeous and the technologically impressive to the downright outrageous, but the following “trends” have really been getting on my nerves of late. So what you are about to read is a beauty rant of epic proportions. You have been warned.
Well first off, just to clarify, this doesn’t require any cooking utensils or the use of an oven, unless it’s to stick your head in to avoid all of the social media makeup “gurus” ploughing this excessive technique down your throat. Despite the fact that it’s having a major online revival at the moment, “baking” or letting your makeup “cook” has actually been around for decades in the drag community. This alone should tell you a thing or two about how necessary it is to your daily life… After applying the cream base makeup, foundation and concealer, a thick layer of white powder is applied to areas that you want to be more prominent, i.e under the eyes, cheek bones and chin. It’s left to set from 10 minutes up to half an hour, after which the powder is swept away with a brush. And while it may look great under the bright lights of cross-dressing entertainment theatre (or Instagram selfies, whichever takes your fancy) in person, this makeup looks harsh and unflattering.
We’ve gone from the Kim K ultimate sculpt to the recent artistic display of clown contouring. Yes it’s lovely to have Sophia Loren cheek bones and an itsy bitsy nose that could cut glass, but seriously, taking the best part of your morning to draw a pie chart on your face just isn’t necessary. I’m all for contouring for special occasions, but for daytime, use a swish of bronzer, a touch of highlighter for good measure and you’re good to go.
I love a good false lash as much as the next person but if you need to stack several pairs to get your desired look, surely you’re using the wrong kind of lashes? There are endless options out there that combine different lengths, thicknesses and styles to give you amazing results with just the one set of falsies- without having to waste your time, money and lash glue on sticking loads of lashes on top of each other.
I seriously believe some trends come about as a result of extreme boredom, and this is one of them. In the Nineties, the beauty world toyed with duo tone lips and the results were horrendous. So why this trend has reared it’s ugly head again is beyond me. Lining lips with one colour and filling them in with another doesn’t make lips look fuller or more “three dimensional” it’s just time consuming, over the top and incredibly unbecoming. So can we please just stop with the “tutorials” on this hideous car crash of a makeup trend?
Again- wtf? Why did this ever become a thing? A fade is something you should see on the head of someone that has a nifty hair cut, not framing the most important feature on your face. I get that there’s only so much you can do with your brows but honestly, if you just fill the gaps and tame the strays, your eyebrows will always be “on fleek” (shudder shudder). Keep the creative blending a little further south- confined to the eyelids.
Are there any beauty trends that annoy you? Which ones have you tried?